When my dad, Ray, was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer early last year, the news hit us hard. By June, after learning that neither surgery nor chemotherapy were viable options due to his COPD, he chose to focus on quality of life rather than undergo radiotherapy treatment that promised little benefit. This decision meant he had limited time left, and he wanted to spend it meaningfully, surrounded by family, with the support of Isabel Hospice.
Following his referral, Isabel Hospice originally advised Dad to be admitted to their In-Patient Unit to get his symptoms and dehydration under control, however they ultimately respected his wishes to stay at home.
Dad was cared for at home by Alison, a community nurse from Isabel Hospice. Alison was a very special person and provided my dad with guidance and options without ever pushing him toward decisions he wasn’t comfortable with. She was a great support to the family as well, assuring us we could call her at any time if needed.
But as Dad’s dehydration intensified, it became clear that In-Patient care was necessary. With Dad’s consent, Alison quickly arranged a bed for him in the Isabel Hospice In-Patient Unit and he walked in on the Sunday of that week.
The days Dad spent in the In-Patient Unit were unexpectedly uplifting for him. Not only were the nurses amazing, taking all his needs and wishes into account. He also formed a cherished friendship with another patient, Tom, who Dad had spotted in the smoking area of the courtyard. Despite Dad’s advanced illness at this stage, his chats with Tom discussing their many common interests brought him great joy and comfort during his final days.
The staff at the Isabel Hospice In-Patient Unit were incredibly supportive, not just to my dad but to our entire family. Most importantly, they made it possible for my mum, my sister, and I to stop being his carers and just be a family again. We were so grateful for the opportunity to enjoy those final moments with Dad.
The Isabel Hospice staff created a comforting environment for us at the In-Patient Unit where volunteers and nurses often joined us for chats, bringing tea and cake, and checking in on our wellbeing regularly. Alison even continued to visit Dad at the In-Patient Unit in between her home visits to other patients in the community. Mum didn’t leave Dad’s side, choosing to stay in the chair at his bedside. The nurses offered my sister and I one of the In-Patient Unit’s flats to stay in, allowing us to get some rest while still being close to Dad until the end.
My family and I have nothing but praise for the staff and volunteers at Isabel Hospice, and in the end, Dad said that he had made the right decision by going in to the In-Patient Unit.
My dad, an avid gardener, loved a particular yellow rose in the In-Patient Unit courtyard and often said, “When a petal falls from that yellow rose, that’s when I’ll be going.” On the day he passed, a single petal fell and rested on a leaf. It was a beautiful moment that we will always remember.
We don’t want to forget Dad, or Isabel Hospice, so this June, just days before the anniversary of Dad’s passing, we will attend the Isabel Hospice Celebration of Life event.
For me, remembrance events like Celebration of Life are an opportunity for collective healing alongside others who know what you’re going through, for coming together with family to remember those no longer with us and for recognising the extraordinary efforts of those like Alison and the many others at Isabel Hospice who guide so many families like ours through the unimaginable with love, compassion and care.
You can register to attend the Isabel Hospice Celebration of Life event here:
